Using Feedback in Development

When I first asked my team for feedback, the room went SILENT. Why? Because speaking the truth felt too risky. This isn’t just my story, it’s the reality in countless workplaces. Here’s the truth: feedback is a minefield. 🔴 Done wrong? It breeds tension and mistrust. 🟢 Done right? It fixes problems—it transforms teams. Here’s how to get it right: 1/ Timing Is Everything ↳ Feedback during chaos? Disaster. Wait for a calm moment. ↳ A private 1-on-1 works best. 💡 Pro Tip: Start with a positive comment—it sets the tone. 2/ Lead With Solutions ↳ Complaints without fixes = noise. Solutions = action. ↳ Try this: “We could avoid confusion with more clarity upfront. What do you think?” 💡 Pro Tip: Frame solutions as support for the team’s success, not criticism. 3/ Be Clear, Not Cryptic ↳ Instead of “Communication could be better,” say: ↳ “Inconsistent updates slow me down. Weekly check-ins might help.” 💡 Pro Tip: Use examples to back it up—clarity builds trust. 4/ Use “I” Instead of “You” ↳ Feedback isn’t a blame game. Stick to “I” statements to share your perspective. ↳ Example: “I feel I don’t have enough autonomy to contribute fully.” 💡 Pro Tip: Highlight how solving the issue benefits the whole team. 5/ Know When to Let It Go ↳ Pick your battles. Save your energy for what really matters. ↳ Does this impact the team or my work? If not, let it go. 💡 Pro Tip: Focus feedback on what aligns with team goals. 6/ End With a Vision ↳ Great feedback doesn’t just fix problems—it builds something better. ↳ Paint the big picture: “Here’s how this change could help the team hit the next level.” 💡 Pro Tip: Vision-driven feedback inspires action. The takeaway? Feedback isn’t about proving you’re right, it’s about progress. Master these steps, and you’ll not only solve problems, but you’ll also earn respect and trust. What’s your biggest feedback fail (or win)? Share it below. 👇 ♻️ Repost to help your network get better! ➕ And follow Shulin Lee for more.

"Feedback is a gift. It's an opportunity to learn and grow" At Google, we believe in the power of feedback to drive improvement. Sometimes feedback can be tough to hear. But taking the time to unpack it, understand the perspective, and reflect on it is crucial. Why feedback matters: - It reveals blind spots we cannot see ourselves - It accelerates learning by shortcutting trial and error - It demonstrates that others are invested in your success - It creates alignment between perception and reality How to receive feedback effectively: 1. Approach with curiosity, not defensiveness When receiving feedback, your first reaction might be to justify or explain. Instead, listen deeply and ask clarifying questions: "Can you give me a specific example?" or "What would success look like to you?" 2. Separate intention from impact Remember that well-intentioned actions can still have unintended consequences. Focus on understanding the impact rather than defending your intentions. 3. Look for patterns across multiple sources Individual feedback may reflect personal preferences, but patterns across multiple sources often reveal genuine opportunities for growth. 4. Prioritize actionable insights Not all feedback requires action. Evaluate which points will have the greatest impact on your effectiveness and focus your energy there. 5. Follow up and close the loop Demonstrate your commitment by acknowledging the feedback, sharing your action plan, and following up on your progress. Creating a feedback-rich environment: - Model vulnerability by asking for feedback yourself - Recognize and celebrate when people implement feedback successfully - Make it routine through structured check-ins rather than waiting for formal reviews At Google, we've learned that organizations with robust feedback cultures innovate faster, adapt more quickly to market changes, and build more inclusive workplaces. Let's commit to seeing feedback not as criticism but as a valuable investment in our collective future. The discomfort is temporary, but the growth is lasting. #motivation #productivity #mindset

Most leaders wait for something to go wrong. Then they call it feedback. By that point, the conversation already feels like criticism. The employee becomes defensive. The manager becomes frustrated. → People become less willing to take initiative. Great leaders use feedback differently. They use it to help people feel noticed, improve their judgement and do more good work. Here are five practical ways to do that: 1. Catch people doing things right Do not settle for vague praise like: “Great job.” Name the behaviour you want them to repeat: “I liked how you challenged that decision without making the conversation defensive.” → Specific praise shows the whole team what good work looks like. 2. Understand what matters to them Ask about more than targets and promotions. ↳ What do they want to learn? ↳ What kind of work gives them energy? ↳ What are they trying to achieve outside work? You cannot help someone grow when you only understand their job description. 3. Give feedback in a way they can hear Most of us give feedback in the way we prefer to receive it. That can cause problems. Ask: “Do you prefer direct feedback in the moment, or time to think first?” What you say matters. How you say it matters too. 4. Connect their work to something bigger People need to understand what they are part of. Not just a slogan on the office wall. Give them a clear explanation of: ↳ Why their work matters ↳ Who it helps ↳ What becomes possible when they do it well → That helps feedback feel useful rather than personal. 5. Make growth part of the job Tell people what they can expect from you: ↳ Support ↳ Honesty ↳ Useful challenge ↳ Opportunities to learn Then tell them what you expect from them: Responsibility for their own development A good leader does not simply get more work from people. They help people become more capable while they are there. Before your next one-to-one, write down: ↳ One thing they should keep doing ↳ One thing that would improve their work ↳ One question about where they want to grow ⇒ That is a better place to start than waiting for another mistake. 📹©️ Chick-fil-A Next 2025, Simon Sinek in conversation with Lynette Smith

80% of feedback never changes behavior. Not because people don’t care… But because of how it’s delivered. Your style and tone makes a difference. The feedback you give can spark change or trigger resistance. It’s not about being “nice” or “tough.” It’s about being strategic. Here are 5 approaches that turn tough conversations into growth opportunities: 1. COIN Method For when performance needs a reset. Most people jump straight to criticism. But starting with context creates safety. “In yesterday’s meeting…” feels specific. “You always…” feels like an attack. The magic is in the Next step: Don’t just point out problems. Co-create solutions. 2. SBI Model For when you’re recognizing wins or addressing gaps. Vague praise like “Great job” doesn’t teach. Specific feedback does. “When you asked that clarifying question, the client leaned in…” That’s something they can actually repeat. 3. STAR/AR Method For when someone’s ready to level up. Most feedback looks backward. This one builds forward. Review what happened → then explore alternatives. You’re not just fixing mistakes. You’re expanding capacity. 4. DESC Script For when you need to set boundaries. Boundaries don’t push people away. They build trust. The key is Express. Own your experience without blame. “I feel…” lands. “You make me feel…” doesn’t. That’s how accountability shifts. 5. GROW Model For when someone needs guidance, not answers Old-school feedback = “Here’s what to do.” GROW = “Let’s uncover it together.” The power move? Stay curious longer. Ask “What else?” at least 3 times. The best ideas usually come last. One more truth: timing beats technique. Give feedback within 48 hours when memory is fresh. Don’t fire off complaints in the moment. And don’t wait for the once-a-year performance review. Find the sweet spot where perspective is clear and the moment still matters. That’s when feedback creates growth. ♻️ Repost if this helps you (or your team) have conversations that actually create change. 👉 Follow Desiree Gruber for more tools on storytelling, leadership, and brand building.

Performance conversations are more than evaluations—they're opportunities to inspire reflection, growth, and clarity. I've been reflecting on how we can approach these moments with greater purpose.   Too often, we dive into discussions focused solely on outcomes or metrics. But what if we paused to look deeper? What if we encouraged employees—and ourselves—to approach these moments from different vantage points: stepping back to observe like a fly on the wall, zooming out to the balcony for perspective, and then engaging with purpose on the dance floor?   This layered approach challenges us to ask meaningful questions: "What patterns am I noticing? How do my efforts align with broader goals? What could I do better?" It’s a mindset shift that transforms performance conversations into opportunities for growth, even when outcomes aren’t ideal. Here are a few practical ways to bring this perspective to life: 1. Start with Observation (Fly on the Wall): Before diving into feedback, encourage employees to reflect on their contributions objectively. Ask questions like " What moments felt like your strongest? What would you approach differently? help set a tone of self-awareness." 2. Zoom Out to the Bigger Picture (Balcony): Help employees see how their work connects to broader team and organizational goals. This shift in perspective ensures the conversation isn’t just about isolated outcomes but about long-term impact and alignment. 3. Engage with Purpose (Dance Floor): End every conversation with actionable steps and encouragement. Even when feedback is tough, leave employees with clarity and optimism. A simple affirmation like "I believe in your ability to grow from this", can turn a challenging moment into a catalyst for improvement. Performance conversations are a dance between reflection and action, but they’re also about perspective—knowing when to step back, when to zoom out, and when to engage fully. When we guide our teams to critique their own contributions—not to judge, but to grow—we unlock their potential and leave them inspired to improve. Would love to hear your perspective.

Want your team to perform better this year? Express genuine positivity, early. Researchers published in Organization Science studied 9,968 consultants across 20 months. The result? Consultants who received positive feedback early in the year performed significantly better—regardless of past performance. When leaders express positive emotions early on… Employees feel seen. They feel respected. And they’re driven to maintain that respect all year long. It creates a motivational anchor. Athletes show the same pattern. Another study tracked 245 NCAA athletes and 86 coaches. Those who received early-season praise from their coaches performed better even after controlling for playtime or past stats. But here’s the twist: Teams performed BEST when leaders paired early praise… with a little constructive feedback at the midpoint. Not harsh. Just honest. It’s the classic tough-love combo, with the love first. Why it works: Midpoint critique signals, “You can do better and I believe you will.” It gives people a chance to re-earn the respect they value. And that challenge? It boosts motivation and focus. So, what should you do? Start projects with specific, heartfelt praise. Avoid constant negativity, it backfires. Use midpoints to give clear, constructive feedback. Sequence matters more than style. The bottom line: You don’t have to choose between kindness and candor. Lead with warmth. Course-correct with honesty. The right emotional timing doesn’t just feel better it delivers results.

Constructive criticism is a powerful tool for growth, and knowing what went wrong can help me make the necessary adjustments for future opportunities. Receiving feedback helps me understand areas where I might have fallen short, whether it's in my skills, communication, or understanding of the role. Without that feedback, I'm left in the dark, unsure of what went wrong or what I need to focus on for personal development. It’s not just about hearing “no,” it’s about learning from the experience and improving myself for the next challenge. I value transparency, and a little insight into what could have been better would be incredibly helpful. When feedback is given, it shows that the company cares about the candidate’s growth, even if they aren’t the right fit for the role at the moment. It’s a small step that can make a big difference in how a candidate approaches their job search and career growth. Constructive feedback allows me to refine my skills, work on areas of weakness, and come back stronger for the next opportunity. It also enhances the candidate experience, leaving me with a positive impression of the company, even if I’m not selected for the role. Providing feedback doesn’t only benefit me as a candidate it also helps the company in the long run by fostering a positive and respectful interview process. When HR takes the time to guide candidates, it reflects well on the company’s culture and commitment to growth, both for its employees and potential hires. In the end, feedback creates a win-win situation for everyone involved, turning a rejection into an opportunity for self-improvement.

At Radical Candor, I often hear the question, "How do I know if my feedback is landing?" The answer is simple but not always easy: Radical Candor is measured not at your mouth, but at the listener’s ear. It’s not about what you said, it’s about how the other person heard it and whether it led to meaningful dialogue and growth. Before you start giving feedback, remember the Radical Candor order of operations: get feedback before you give it. The best way to understand how another person thinks is to ask them directly and reward their candor. Next, give praise that is specific and sincere. This helps remind you what you appreciate about your colleagues, so when you do offer criticism, you can do it in the spirit of being helpful to someone you care about. When giving feedback, start in a neutral place. Don't begin at the outer edge of Challenge Directly, as this might come across as Obnoxious Aggression. Just make sure you're above the line on Care Personally and clear about what you're saying. Pay attention to how the other person responds - are they receptive, defensive, sad, or angry? Their reaction will guide your next steps. If someone becomes sad or angry, this is your cue to move up on the Care Personally dimension. Don't back off your challenge - that leads to Ruinous Empathy. Instead, acknowledge the emotion you're noticing: 'It seems like I've upset you.' Remember that emotions are natural and inevitable at work. Sometimes just giving voice to them helps both people cope better. If someone isn't hearing your feedback or brushing it off, you'll need to move further out on Challenge Directly. This can feel uncomfortable, but remember - clear is kind. You might say, 'I want to make sure I'm being as clear as possible' or 'I don't feel like I'm being clear.' Use 'I' statements and come prepared with specific examples. Most importantly, don't get discouraged if feedback conversations sometimes go sideways. We tend to remember the one time feedback went wrong and forget the nine times it helped someone improve and strengthened our relationship. Focus on optimizing for those nine successes rather than avoiding the one potential difficult conversation. Creating a culture of feedback takes time and practice. Each conversation is an opportunity to get better at both giving and receiving feedback. When you get it right, feedback becomes a powerful tool for building stronger relationships and achieving better results together. What’s one small adjustment you’ve made to give or receive better feedback? I’d love to hear your thoughts!

Leaders who avoid hard feedback aren’t protecting their people, they are setting them up to fail. Feedback is one of the most powerful tools we have in leadership but it’s also one of the most misused. Because leaders confuse compassion with avoidance, softening the truth until it loses all usefulness, or withholding it altogether under the guise of kindness. Compassionate feedback is about caring enough to be honest, in a way that allows other people to hear it. At APS Intelligence, we use a framework for compassionate feedback, designed to ensure that even difficult messages are delivered with clarity and respect: 1. Frame the feedback - Start by recognising effort and value to create psychological safety and remind people their work is seen and appreciated. 2. Ask permission - Feedback lands better when people feel like they have agency. Asking “Can I talk to you about something I’ve noticed?” is, as Dr. Shelby Hill says, a gentle knock on the door of someone’s psyche instead of barging in. 3. Be precise and objective - Describe what you’ve observed, not your interpretation of it. Feedback should focus on behaviour, not character. 4. Explain the impact - Share how the behaviour affects others or the work. Clarity about consequences builds accountability without blame. 5. Stay curious and open - Avoid assumptions. Ask questions that invite dialogue and understanding, not defence. 6. Collaborate on next steps - Offer support, not ultimatums. Feedback should be a shared problem to solve instead of a burden to bear. 7. End with perspective - Reaffirm their strengths and remind them that one issue does not define their value. Compassionate feedback allows honesty and humanity to coexist. It ensures that when people walk away, they feel respected, even if the message was hard to hear. This is a framework we use often at APS Intelligence. You can book a tailored workshop for your people managers or leadership cohorts to explore this further.

 5 Uncomfortable Truths About Giving "Performance Feedback" (that no one tells you) After 15 years of leading teams and coaching executives, I've learned that giving meaningful feedback isn't about following a template or checking a box. Here are the hard truths I wish someone had told me earlier: 1.) Your feedback isn't about making yourself comfortable ↳That knot in your stomach before a tough conversation? It's a sign that you're about to say something that matters. I once delayed giving critical feedback to a high performer for weeks because I feared damaging our relationship. When I finally did, their response? "I wish you'd told me sooner." 2.) The "feedback sandwich" insults your employees' intelligence. ↳They see right through it, and it diminishes your message. Trust them with direct communication. Last month, a client told me they'd spent years decoding what their previous manager "really meant" beneath the compliment buffer. 3.) "Great job!" isn't feedback – it's a pat on the back ↳ Real feedback answers: "Great at what? Why did it matter? What specific impact did it have?" The difference transforms generic praise into a roadmap for repeatable success. 4.) The most crucial feedback often comes from your discomfort. ↳ When you think, "Maybe I'm overreacting" or "Perhaps it's not my place," that's often precisely what needs to be addressed. Those moments of hesitation often mask the most valuable insights. Be professional and tactful, but seize an opportunity and the signs you receive. 5.) Timing beats process every time. ↳ The best feedback system in the world can't match the power of addressing something at the moment. Waiting for quarterly reviews to discuss crucial performance issues is like waiting for New Year's to start eating healthy – it makes sense on paper but fails in practice. THE BOTTOM LINE: Meaningful feedback isn't about being fake, too nice or following a script. It's about being transparent, specific, and genuine – even when (especially when) it's uncomfortable. Vague feedback is worse than no feedback at all. If your message could apply to anyone, it probably helps no one. Make it direct, make it specific, make it count. Coaching can help; let's chat. | Follow Joshua Miller ➖ Like what you read but would like more? ☎ Book Your Coaching Discovery Session Today: https://lnkd.in/eKi5cCce #joshuamiller #executivecoaching #coaching #leadership #management #performancemanagement #culture #professionaldevelopment