Chapter Text
The clock ticked over to midnight, a new day was finally beginning.
But for the unfulfilled man that lived within a baby blue house filled with memories of his past, it was a reminder of what he gave up to stay in this ice-cold grey city.
It had been a year since Ian Gallagher had made a decision that broke his heart more than he thought it would.
A year since he said goodbye, hoping that the blue eyed man he couldn’t get out of his head would finally disappear.
The words they hardly spoke flooded his brain every night, his lips still tingled from their last kiss, and his heart never let go off his never-ending guilt.
Every time he closed his eyes to fall asleep, it was like he was back at that moment.
The Mexican sun warming his skin, the dusty road, the softest breeze. The border. The fear.
Black hair. Blue eyes. Hopeful. Scared. Broken.
“Alright, you’re driving”
Leaning back on his couch, Ian crossed his arms as he listened to the clock ticking. 12:01am.
He shut his eyes and breathed out the heaving in his chest. He never wanted to forget that voice, no matter how much it hurt.
“What’s the matter with you? Let’s go”
“I can’t”
“You can—Get behind the wheel and drive the damn car!”
Ian opened his eyes now, not even realizing tears had soaked his ginger eyelashes. Maybe they were tired tears. Maybe they were sad tears. Maybe they were angry tears.
He lied down now upon the old green couch, pulling an old blanket over him for security.
He watched the worn out, peeling roof and tried to just think, but all he could focus on was that day. He closed his eyes with a sigh, knowing this attempt to sleep would just be as hard as the night he left.
“Ian we’re one step from the finish line”
Ian’s voice shook as he exhaled. He couldn’t get him out of his head.
“What the fuck!?”
Ian had given him every last cent from his bank account to show his love, but now realized it made him look petty, as if the man he has loved since he was 14 was just a charity.
“I don’t want your fucking money! I want you to come with me!”
He should’ve gone.
He should’ve.
Should’ve.
But didn't.
“Don’t do this”
“I love you”
Pathetic
“Then get in the fucking car”
“It’s not—This isn’t me anymore”
“I’m sorry,” Ian whispered to thin air.
“I’m sorry”
“That’s it, huh?”
It shouldn’t have been.
He kissed Ian’s lips for what they both thought would be the last time.
It won’t be.
“Fuck you, Gallagher”
Mickey.
Ian watched Mickey Milkovich drive up to the Borderline in his disguise.
He stood, worried and scared that the person he loved would go back to prison for what could be the rest of his life. He worried for the worst, he worried for the consequences.
Ian Gallagher: The man who underestimated the smartest criminal he knew.
The boom gate lifted and so did the anxiety pressing into Ian’s consciousness. Mickey would be okay. He would be free.
Ian Gallagher: The man who walked away from true love.