Actions

Work Header

Rating:
Archive Warning:
Category:
Fandom:
Relationship:
Characters:
Additional Tags:
Language:
English
Series:
Part 5 of OTP Prompts , Part 9 of Gallavich Things
Stats:
Published:
2017-06-19
Words:
1,085
Chapters:
1/1
Comments:
2
Kudos:
102
Bookmarks:
7
Hits:
3,616

Putting the FUN in funeral

Summary:

Mickey & Mandy's dad is dead and Mandy wants Mickey to help plan the funeral.

Prompt: Funeral.

Notes:

Alternate Titles that I considered:
“Putting the F.U. In Funeral”
It's not a funeral it's a FUNeral (Unfabulous reference lol. I loved that show.)

I know nothing about funerals except that I don't like them, so I made one I liked. Also, please don't have sex at funeral homes/during funerals.

Also, also I couldn't think of a good summary so just ignore it. Lol

Final also, I meant to post on Father's Day, so Happy Belated Father's Day T*rry Milkovich, may you rot in Hell!

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Fucking funerals…

“Oh yeah! Fuck! Unf! Shit! Just like that! Fuuuuuuuuuk!”

*record scratch*

I bet you're wondering how I got here. Dick balls deep in my ass, at my homophobic dad’s funeral, well lemme start at the beginning.

*rewinding sound*

“Come on, Mick,” Mandy begs as the waitress sets out their food they ordered a few minutes ago.

“‘Come on, Mick.’ Nothing. That piece of shit got what was comin’ to him. Not my fuckin’ problem.” He quickly piles the syrup on his bacon and hash browns, and dogs in.

She snorts and sips her vanilla milkshake. “Piece of shit or not, he was still our dad.”

Mickey scoffs and rolls his eyes, moving on to his pancakes. “So. The fuck’s that gotta do with me?”

She steals a piece of his bacon, “someone's gotta help me plan and pay for the funeral.”

He flicks his straw wrapper at his bacon stealing sister. “I don't got shit and even if I did I ain’t giving it to him alive, and especially not dead.”

“Well you don't have to, I've gotta friend that’s gunna cut us a sweet deal.”

“So what the fuck you need me for?” Mandy’s grin slowly appears as she takes another long sip of her milkshake.

“We’re family. We’re the youngest yet most responsible ones. If we don't do it, no one else will. Besides, I also kinda mentioned how you like guys with dicks and he likes guys with dicks. And you're both guys with dicks, so you're kinda my part of the sweet deal.”

“Wow.” Mickey takes a long sip from his orange juice and plays with his straw. “You pimped me out to cheapen the cost of Terry’s funeral.” He scratches his head and tries have a somber look, but Mandy sees right through it and he caves. “I'm so proud. The student is learning so much.”

“Oh whatever. I tried to sell myself, but this body of work was not to his liking. He's got bad taste. Not his fault. He was born that way.”

Mickey snorts. “Drama queen.”

 

***

 

“So...when we meetin’ this dick guy?” Mickey asks shoving some strips of bacon in his mouth and taking another sip of his drink.

“Right now,” comes a velvety voice from right behind Mickey. He chokes on his drink as the guy that has becoming a recurring presence in his sex dreams for the past 3 months comes into view. Mandy met a new friend at work and ever since she showed Mickey his picture, he couldn't get him out of his mind. Especially at night and in the shower.

“Holy shit!” Mandy is clutching her stomach laughing at her brother's reaction with tears streaming down her face!

“Shut the fuck up.” He grabs some napkins and wipes at his shirt, cleaning the spilled beverage and catches Ian eyeing him as he wipes his mouth and subconsciously lick his lips.

“What's up, Gallagher? You already fuckin’ know ‘Giggles’ here. I'm Mickey.” Ian takes his outstretched hand.

“Pleasure.”

“Not yet. But it will be.”

Mickey lets out a big sigh and wipes his hand down his face, casually attempting to hide his blush while trying to will it away. “Ugh! You speak for my dick now? Shut the fuck up, bitch! That’s so creepy and gross and wrong on SO many levels!

Mandy shrugs, giggling as she gets up and let's Ian slide in on her side. “Oh we already handled everything, yesterday.”

“Then what the fuck am I doing here?”

“Him.” Another fit of giggles from his annoying and totally not funny sister. Ian cracks a sexy smile at that comment as well. Taking one of Mickey’s pieces of bacon and chewing on it ever so slowly.

“Wow. You really did pimp me out. If he wasn't so hot I'd be kinda pissed. I mean I sorta am, but not so much.”

Ian chuckles and takes a sip of Mandy’s milkshake. “Compliment accepted.”

“Well that's my que. I gotta get to work. She kisses Ian on the cheek and drops a $20 for her meal and tip.

“So, how are we gunna do this?”

“One condition, Abercrombie.”

***

“Unf! Oh shit!”

“Say it.” Mickey clenches his ass around the huge dick sliding in and out of him, filling him up each and every time. “Come on, man. Say it,” he grunts out.

“Fuck! What? Say what?” Ian has one hand on Mickey’s waist, as he hits his prostate with exact precision each time, while his other hand grips Mickey’s neck. With an ass this amazing on a guy this hot, how the hell is he supposed to remember anything right now?!

Mickey leans back and whispers in a husky breath, “You know what, Ian.” Ian’s thrusts faulty slightly and He has to breathe deeply to keep from cumming then and there!

He chuckles darkly understanding the request and reaches his left hand up to grab Mickey’s hair so his mouth is right next to his ear while his right hand goes to stroking Mickey’s throbbing and neglected cock. Ian starts pounding into him harder and faster. “Who’s your daddy?” He grunts as he licks and bites at the brunet’s neck! “Who’s your fucking daddy, you dirty, little cock slut?!”

“Fucking shit!” And with that exclamation Mickey cums the hardest he’s had in months. Smirking he replies, “Gotdamn, Gallagher. You are.” And lays down on the desk.

Feeling Mickey’s spasming hole squeezing his cock, Ian finishes as well and lays his head down on Mickey’s back. Placing kisses while he waits for his heart rate to come down.

 

***

 

“What made you want to fuck me?” He asks opening the window and lighting a cigarette.

The redhead shrugs taking the offered cigarette but his blush gives him away. “Kinda always had a crush on you and when the opportunity finally presented itself, I just jumped.

“Hmmm. You know you didn't have to wait until my piece of shit dad died, right?”

“Yeah, but Mandy said you were seeing somebody and I'm not a homewrecker--well not anymore--so when I heard things ended I thought I'd finally had a chance.”

“Lying bitch,” Mickey scoffed and took the cigarette back from Ian.

“Excuse me.”

“I haven't been fucking anyone in months. And that goofy bitch knows it.”

“Well no wonder you came like a fucking freight train.”

“Fuck off, Firecrotch. Let he who didn't come just as hard, choke on a dick.”

He smirked and slid down Mickey's body."Only if it's yours."

Notes:

So yeah, that happened. First Smut. Be nice, please.

Also, if you watched Unfabulous, please leave a comment! :)

And if you see grammar/syntax error, let me know! X